My wife god bless her started buying me Triathlon magazines recently. The first was in a birthday gift with a MTB magazine so the gift was half OK…and half not OK! Let me explain grasshopper – you see I haven’t picked up a triathlon mag since about 1995 which coincidentally was the last year I did a triathlon (sprint distance, Kurnell NSW – you know not near Kurnell but far Kurnell) and it was like going back in time.
Same looking mag with same looking triathlete megastar on the front cover giving out the same used and tireless advice as only someone who gets paid to train every day can give out.
For example, “…the ability to drink the right fluid and eat the right nutrition is the key to every athlete’s pre-race and mid race routine”. I think one of those gifted NRL commentators said something similar during the 1990’s, “…the one who scores the most tries will win this game!” – Life changing isn’t it.
I’ve since told mummy not to buy them anymore for those obvious reasons and the fact that really who wears a race suit and rides a bike that looks really fast but is also really uncomfortable? My guess is heaps. Another point I’ve taken in is that people are still enslaved to the triathlon marketing machine as they were in 1995 (not me of course, I was cheap and could ride a bike so I did OK).
My bro in law exhibited this phenomenon recently as seen on his Facebook sight that mummy showed me. I should point out that uncle heafy is actually an accomplished triathlete and can really swim and run as well as being able to sit on a bike. Resplendent in a sky blue 2XU (not a size) race suit was uncle heafy looking well – like everyone else! I can’t bag him as he was doing what everyone else does – dressing to the occasion! Anyway he did well and came out in front on the swim and then dropped his bottle which signed his death warrant.
Wifey pointed out that maybe I need to reassess the current climate – an environmental scan if you will. OK, OK I have done this and will stretch it to wearing compression shorts, a sleeveless super fabric top with a big zip for aeration, my 2XU shin guards of course because they actually do work, and shortly I will have a new bike that friend Huey has assisted me in obtaining through invaluable contacts (thanks mateJ). Better sell a few bikes quick.
But I’m definitely not going the race suit OK.
I’m three and a bit weeks post injury now and after taking two weeks off apart from treating the injury I stepped out feeling OK but went lame in the first k or two – but continued on for another 7.6km roughly just to make sure it didn’t come good – my physio wife and her welsh running corgi taught me that. Nice one.
So another week just went past before I did the right thing and went for a good long walk with my seven year old avatar. His piercing words from the shower still ringing in my ‘bad father’ consciousness – “Daddy we need some boytime”. Clone boy struck out well but quickly fell into whinging mode after about 2k. A smart trainer will always make the athlete pay for being subversive so his reward was to run for the same amount of seconds he made me wait for him. He knows Noosa Hill from the inland side is 1.1k – well he does now because I made him read the sign at the top when we got there. He can also add up 3.8 k as well (more signs) which by the time he saw mummy and sibling had turned out to be 6k – fantastic trainer that boy!
Parting words should be, “same circus different clowns” but instead I will finish with this – three months, one week – bring on the pain!
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